1-2 Clear > Our Funny Stories

“You know I have many vices young man”

“You know I have many vices young man” Recently a call came in from a lady with a recurring toilet blockage problem and blaming her husband, who was suffering with short term memory loss, for using too much toilet paper. On arrival the couple both answered the door, both started to explain the problem and…

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I’m 84 you know… and I’m still a virgin!

A quick stop in a North Hull sandwich shop for lunch today. I’m standing waiting for my cheese, lettuce and cucumber on wholemeal to be being prepared when two cheeky older ladies walked in and started having a lot off to the staff. “Do you want salad cream with your sandwich?” I was asked by…

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“Can you speak up a bit, I’m a little deaf.”

It’s always going to be interesting when a customer with a blocked toilet calls and says, “Can you speak up a bit, I’m a little deaf.” To be met at the door of a wonderful old house by an elderly couple, who had clearly been successful prior to their retirement, was the start of a…

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Sorry kids – no more splashing in puddles at school!

Pleasure to have been able to solve the long standing surface water drain problems in the school playground – I’m sure the staff will be happy that the kids can now play outside after the rain stops – without having to wait days and days for the large puddles to disappear!  #LoveTheDrainsBusiness

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Beverleys Beaver Blocked by Knickers

The manager of Beverley’s Beaver pub called us on a Sunday afternoon after he’d spent most of the night before, and the Sunday morning (in between coaching a rugby team) trying to clear the ladies toilets. He was a desperate looking man when I arrived – like someone who had spent hours trying to clear…

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My husband’s been at it all weekend and now needs help!

What to do with twelve bin sacks, two wheelie bins, and seven black plastic dust bins ALL full of sewage? It was Sunday the F1 racing had finished when the call came through, “My husband’s been at it all weekend and now needs help”. I thought this could be interesting so agreed to go there…

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With what was he feeding his fuchsias?

Interesting customer in Barnsley yesterday – trilby hat, smoking a pipe, a magnificent set of false teeth, and kept calling me ‘Pal’, all he wanted to talk about was his bowel movements or lack of them, before I tried to change the subject by commenting on his fuchsia plants – “Ee Y’aint seen nowt yet…

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A Wet & Very Soggy Moggy

I knew this was going to be interesting when the owner of a property company called and said, “I really think you need to go to this one yourself Paul, it’s a real problem tenant and the drains have been blocked for three weeks”. Arriving, I noticed the front door boarded up and the drive…

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A pain like she’d been shot in the right buttock!

There is never a dull moment in the Drains Business… Sitting having a ‘post drains clearance’ cup of coffee with a wonderful customer, when she said, “You would not believe what happened to me recently.” Explaining that she was about to take the bus into town to visit a friend at the hospital, having got…

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Impressing The Wife

Dear Mr Robinson, I write to inform you how impressed my wife and I were with the service your company afforded us, when I telephoned you about our blocked drain. To receive such a prompt reply on a Saturday morning and the promise that your operative would attend at 1pm – “or possibly ten minutes…

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